You should be aware before you get involved with any 12-step related program that the first step in these programs is to admit that you are powerless over drugs and alcohol. If you don’t admit to being powerless, then you will never achieve social acceptance into the 12 step group, you will be considered to not have made it past the first step, and thus be given a bad prognosis, not only by fellow 12-steppers, but also by counselors and other professionals at treatment programs who employ 12-step methods, many of whom are AA and NA members themselves, and fully believe the doctrine. It may appear on the surface that this is just a recognition of having a problem, but it’s much more than that, and can be extremely harmful.
The doctrine of powerlessness runs deep, and is taken very literally. These programs actually do everything they can to convince you that you do not have any control over the choice to use substances. They make up fake claims of a disease, an allergy, or a genetic condition, and they filter every personal anecdote through the powerlessness concept, so that in retrospect, they all become powerless. Then they take every instance of someone returning to substance use, and use that as evidence of powerlessness. They harp on powerlessness CONSTANTLY, and you will be browbeaten into submitting to this self-defeating concept. The danger should be obvious, if you don’t believe that you have the power to choose whether or not to use substances, then it will become harder for you to stop abusing substances – it’s plain old negative thinking.
There is however some appeal to the powerlessness concept. Many of us feel out of control over our substance abuse habits, and it can be comforting in a strange way to affirm that. The problem is that there is a massive difference between feeling powerless and actually being powerless. As an analogy, I offer up what I think is a fairly common experience: I felt unattractive and unwanted in my high school days, so much so, that it depressed me and led to extremely low self-esteem, social anxiety and withdrawal. Years later, several girls I went to school with admitted that they were very attracted to me back then. I never would have guessed it. So while I felt completely unwanted and incapable of getting a date, the reality was that I was wanted and could have easily gotten a date. It was only my perception of the situation that made me feel so hopeless – and kept me from taking the action to get a date. Likewise, while you may feel powerless over substance use, the reality is that you are not powerless, that you can choose to change your behavior at any given time and explore options to excessive substance use. But if you give in to the fear of powerlessness, and embrace it as a fundamental part of who you are, then you will have effectively stopped yourself from making progress before you even start. To admit to powerlessness is to say “I can’t”. When you say that, you make it a reality.
The Evidence
The main evidence of powerlessness offered up by the recovery culture is the fact that some people say they are powerless. Going back to the mid twentieth century when the big push was first made for public acceptance of the disease concept of alcoholism, the research, The Stages of Alcoholism by E.M. Jellinek, was based on questionnaires filled out by AA members who were already indoctrinated with the powerlessness concept, in which they stated that they were powerless. Nowadays, we see brain scans which show differing brain activity among addicts, and we’re supposed to believe that this serves as proof of powerlessness, but there is no logical step to prove that such brain activity indicates powerlessness. The only other thing offered up is the claim that addiction is a lifelong condition, and that no one recovers from it without professional help – a false claim. So really, there is no evidence of powerlessness.
On the contrary, there is evidence evidence that people quit or reduce their substance use habits all the time, usually without professional help. In fact, there are 2 separate large scale studies from the NIAAA which show that approximately 75% of people who at one time fit the diagnosis of Alcohol Dependent according to the APA’s definition, are no longer dependent on alcohol. Of that group – only 26% of them have gotten any type of professional or 12-step help. The vast majority of them, 74%, have quit or reduced their substance use without any professional help whatsoever – nor did they seek help from a clergyman or step foot in an AA meeting. These supposedly powerless people quit on their own. Studies in Canada and elsewhere have shown nearly identical results.
In conclusion, while the disease proponents offer up the claim that many people feel powerless as proof of this phenomenon, those of us who don’t believe in powerlessness offer up hard facts, namely, that people do have the power to quit and that they do it all the time.
First, thank you for this wonderful site. It’s so refreshing to see the perspective of a person who struggled with addiction but is opposed to the traditional recovery culture. I am three years recovered from bulimia, after twelve years of behaviors, and as such I’ve encountered this concept of “powerlessness” too many times to count. I completely agree with what you say: people in treatment programs of various types are pushed into admitting powerlessness and it often makes behaviors worse. I’m a women’s studies teacher, and I always found the idea damaging, especially to young teenage girls. I recall struggling to describe my own problem in inpatient treatment and support groups. I never accepted the idea of powerlessness, but I never could figure out how to articulate the fact that I felt unable to control my behaviors while knowing that I could learn to control them given the proper tools and support. This was not accepted and as a result of not accepting powerlessness I was eventually asked to leave the treatment facility and support groups. It wasn’t until I eventually received treatment for previously undiagnosed PTSD that I realized I could stop the behaviors on my own (given that I took the appropriate anxiety medication and followed my own rational thoughts rather than what I had been taught in eating disorder treatment). Sorry for the long comment: I’m just a bit excited that I was actually able to share this experience somewhere and not be criticized for my independent thinking. Again, thank you so much for creating this site. The broader recovery community needs to listen up.
I couldn’t agree more. The whole concept of powerlessness is self-defeating and becomes self fullfilling. The 12 step culture will try to downgrade the actual meaning of powerlessness, by saying that you only become powerless as soon as you take that first sip, but so much evidence points to the conclusion that people readily have the ability to make rational and logical decisions well after the first sip. In fact many ex-alcoholics and yes it does happen, return to moderate or sociable drinking, and yet others choose to abstain but somehow find it possible to be around alcohol and exert free will.
Powerless shmowerless. This is yet another societal malfunction caused by the high and mighty agencies doing their hypnotizing on our culture. I particularly like the 20/20 documentary ‘drinking; are you in control’, as it provides excellent cultural differences between Europe, specifically England, and America. In fact, let me digress here for a second. Rememer when Julian Asange released all the government cables on the internet giving secret information? Well, the government told the media to headline the accusation that Asange was accused of rape. This is exactly what happens; people are redirected away from the original and most important issue which is actually what needs to be the focus, and then they are tricked into thinking about another issue. Then, in this case,…the media are told not to display it at all….and everyone forgets. Sound familiar? What happened to Occupy Wall Street? It’s the same with the powerlessnes concept. If ‘they’ can make you believe that you are powerless, then you are in treatment and recovery for life, and then they fill their wallets and the rich people stay rich; back to insurance and pharaceutical companies. They don’t want you well, they want you sick! I know I sound like a conspiracy theorist.
Okay, so real life situation – Individual in country “A” does copius amounts of drugs and alcohol for years but decides after several extremely disturbing life events that this isn’t the way life needs to be. So, with no help they stop using and drinking, change direction, move away from friends and go to college. They have no concept of not being in control because that is not in their culture. Individual moves to America and starts to drink because it’s a lot of fun but after about a year is in a place where this ‘powerlessness’ concept is ubiquitous but would like to stop. They are told that “once an addict always an addict”, that “no one can do it without help”, and that they “have a disease”. What do you think…easier, harder, or about the same ability to stop as last time? Harder! A lot harder, because they are lied to by self-sulfilling prohecies that the government disperse. Erm, no, not going to happen. A lot of mental redirection and hard work despite wanting to drink desperately and a year later they have controlled drinking patterns-five years later they still have and could take it or leave it, and so does their partner who would drink all day! The belief in the self is an extremely powerful phenomenon…but so is the disbelief in the self through a self fulfilling prophecy, which agencies have influenced people to believe. Jiminy Cricket, what can we do about this!!!!! You know homosexuality was in the DSM, right?. I’m just sayin’.
I like your posts. Behavior comes down to beliefs. Much of what we do is based on our beliefs, and beliefs are shaped by the culture and our family too. I have changed some of my beliefs already. This is a fun game, since beliefs are unconscious. For example, how many women mistreat their men or keep them at arms’ length because they are taught a man is not to be trusted because he could cheat or leave or whatever. Or how many people don’t study science because they believe math is hard? Or how many people stay addicted because they believe they need that drug to get through the day? So I choose my actions based on my beliefs about myself and my life.
I think some people feel comforted by the powerless theory. I’ve had debates with NA members about this. They tell me they are powerless now, they were powerless then, why else would they do x, y, z.. I can think of 3 people, each with over 22 years clean and regular NA members, who told me this. I think they lack courage to look at themselves (why they did it, take responsibility) or they have a belief that says they are bad for doing it so being powerless is better than being bad. So this powerless idea is held among former addicts too. It is a comforting thought for some.
So, just change your belief about your drug use. Think that there’s a little bit of Huckleberry Finn in every man and a little bit of Becky Thatcher in every woman. I did drugs because I am a free thinker, I definitely do not follow the crowd, I’m a little bit wild. And there were consequences for my actions. I’m done beating myself up over it. I choose my beliefs and how I look at it.
I’m glad you enjoy the site. It really is all about belief, which is why I fight so hard against the limiting beliefs of the recovery culture.
Belief in “Addiction”, is just like belief in “Voodoo”.
The concept of Powerlessness is there just to keep you going back to the witch doctors.
That is all that it is, American Voodoo.
hope is out there, just look at how many people quit smoking. Almost all on their own. Anyone can do it. If that message was spread rather than the doomsday “one drink and you are on the path to death.” nonsense, it would be a great benifit to society.
Hi Steven, thank you for this website. This “concept” has always rubbed me the wrong way…I am an alcoholic, who is struggling with the 12 Step Programs and went to Rehab etc. I stopped on my own without one AA meeting ever for over a year….I have PTSD which I have just started to get treated for, I realized I have been self medicating if you will and set up a process of addiction within myself if you will…..When I first went to Rehab and AA meetings , they gave me a chip that said ” You are powerless” and they all clapped! 🙂 I didn’t like it, and I asked ” Why doesn’t the chip say…You are powerful…” Meaning, over YOURSELF and YOUR ADDITION. That would be a lot more life affirming and motivate me to feel more in control…It just felt weird….So, I went to a top hospitals Neuroscience Division the other day and the top Dr.s set up a treatment plan for my PTSD and I am feeling so optimistic about it…Later in the day, a gal called me from AA and I told her about this and she said ” Just remember! No human power can help you!”….uh..what? Like a man with 20 years of medical school and training in PTSD and my own willingness to accept the medical help? Jesus…If listened to her? And she has struggled with shooting heroin for 18 years and has 90 days….on and off sobriety…I will take the NeuroScience Division at the University Hospital thank you very much! 🙂 Anwyay, I do enjoy AA and the support groups in the sense that I have a lot of good friends that are all trying to stay sober together and that support…and I support them is healthy…I just don’t agree with all of the Dogma….You mentioned in another article that the people who make it must have very strong personalities , I think I am one of them…At the same time, I would like to “give back” to 12 Step programs and help people with common sense a long side the program, I do this with young women that come to me for help, general life issues and I just use conscience and common sense…I am lucky to have had a very good upbringing and education….I usually see good outcomes with them…Anyway, I have one foot in AA for support and the other i n”sense” …It also scares me how they have a lot of untrained people trying to act as professionals as well as well as telling people to avoid the very professionals that can help them. I am just working all of this out within myself, I believe I will make it to and stay in sobriety, but it won’t be because I think I am powerless, it will be because I empowered myself to help myself….
Thanks Elizabeth.
I think you’ve got a great attitude – believing in your power to change is important.
Unfortunately, I think you’ll find over time that most people (but not all) in 12-step programs literally don’t want to change. They enjoy the predictable drama of the struggle more than they think they’d enjoy moving on to better things. The process of moving on and refusing to see oneself as teetering on the verge of relapse is actually scary – because it’s new, it takes away excuses, and it demands work. But the rewards are worth it!
I hope you choose to happily move on with your life!
-Steven
I don’t know how you spent five years in NA/AA and came away with the idea that “you do not have any control over the choice to use substances” is the meaning of being powerless over drugs. Quite the opposite, we always talk about using drugs being a CHOICE that you are no longer forced to make. If you do choose to use drugs, you will not be able to control how much or how little you use. You cannot successfully use drugs. I am glad that you have found recovery in your way, but how you misconstrued the core message of narcotics anonymous so much while attending for five years is a mystery.
The fact is, you 12 steppers are great at having your cake and eating it too. I understand there are 2 versions of the powerlessness/loss-of-control concepts, and the concept is taught differently depending on from where and whom you learn it. The Big Book allows for both control that is lost with the allergic reaction that takes place after the first drink, and no control even of the first drink. It’s like a bible with its many contradictions.
Big Book, page 24:
Shall I repeat the key part:
Brilliant insight, Steve! This is the kicker that finally took me out of AA after many, many wasted years and misery (I stayed believing I’d die if I left the fold). My last sponsor kept wanting to “bring me back to powerlessness and alcohol, powerlessness and alcohol” when alcohol especially was the furthest thing from my mind. Other life problems were pressing and I said as much. “How on earth does powerlessness over alcohol have anything to do with what I’m talking about? I drank on one occasion five years ago–the only occasion in twelve years. I’m not powerless over alcohol–especially if it’s not in my system!” Then the shouting ensued… she went ballistic. Imagine if I had told her that I never stopped taking real wine in my weekly communion!
Steve said what he said because it’s the truth. Not only is the powerless party line hammered over and over about substances, a common mindless chant in meetings is “I’m powerless over people, places and things.” I personally am not. What I do with the thought that come into my head ( if they are not so good I have the POWER and good sense to know this) determines to a great deal what happens in my life. Especially whether or nor I put a substance in my body. Keep up the good work, sir.
I had 15 years of 12 step nonsence, my brother 18. We both found the same thing as the author found.
Deprogramming is nessisary too, as 12 step groups have most accepted cult features. And you do not need to have all the features to be a cult. Possessing any of the features means that it is harmful.
Steven, what do you think about abusing food? Food abuse (especially obesity) seems to affect many more people than substance abuse, and it doesn’t seem people grow out of it.
I also, like Kal, believe the core message of NA/AA is misconstrued here. The whole concept in this particular recovery model (12-Step) is recovering with the help of another, not doing it by myself. That is what the founders of the Program meant by “powerless”. I learned from a more experienced member who had found recovery through the Twelve Steps, that BY MYSELF, I was powerless. But through the practical spiritual program of recovery, it where I gained the power and freedom. It’s troubling to read that you were repeatedly told to focus on being powerless. It is mentioned above in your second paragraph that powerlessness was actually a “doctrine” imposed upon you throughout the treatment facilities and 12-Step Programs you attended. Again, this is unfortunate to hear. I’ve had a different experience with it. I admitted I couldn’t do it on my own, and that is what I understood as the meaning of “powerless”. Best wishes to you and your website on addiction.
Colleen, my life experience has been that there won’t always be a person you can lean on for strength no matter what the “addiction” I think that’s what being an adult means: we make the hard decision not to do something foolish. Embracing that, allows a person to have great freedom. I got tired of running nilly willy for somebody to talk me out of using drugs or doing other harmful things to myself. I got tired of having to scurry to a meeting in desperation, because the “disease” somehow overtook me. That’s a loss of freedom and a digression into infantilism.
You are all full of shit. Never has been a choice and it never will be. Have a nice day 🙂
I agree with you full heartedly this guy is preaching insanity and it is so so so dangerous for someone who actually has the disease of addiction to hear this bull shit. The guy isnt someone with a disease and good for him but millions of americans do he was a drunk so sure he has some power but others don’t!! STOP GIVING FALSE BULL SHIT
So I take it you’re looking for an argument? Or did I misunderstand the all caps?
No Im more looking for a responce to my previous comment below I don’t think it needs to be an argument but maybe a discussion. I know personally the effects of putting power into an addicts hand. And like i said before there is an astronomical diffrence between a drunk and someone who has the disease of addiction. I think your article is more focused on the people who dont have the disease and can quit on there own. But for the people that cant its dangerous for people like you to tell them they do have power over there addiction when in fact they do not. Why would someone who has power over there addiction knowing the consequences of losing everything family, friends, wife, kids, and there own life continue to use???
Hi Mitch,
I’m not sure which part of your several comments that you’d like me to respond to, but I’ll try. First, let me give a general response to what you’re doing here. On the one hand, you’re trying to make some kind of reasoned arguments, and refer to some scientifically gathered information. Like when you said this:
But on the other hand, you’re relying fully on blind faith – the exact opposite of reason – as your explanation and cure:
So, the problem is a physical matter (MFB frontal cortex blah blah blah), but the solution is a spiritual matter. How do I know that a “Higher Power” exists (aka God – an entity that listens to prayers and changes your mind state and fate)? How do I know that you really surrendered to the HP? How do I know that the HP helped you?
These are all matters of faith, and by the admission of most believers and the very concept of “faith” – unprovable. At least, unprovable by the scientific methods used to gather the type of information you cited about the brain.
How do I know that you didn’t really just choose to change and carry out that change on your own internal power of free will?
But let’s go a step further. I happen to be an atheist. But for argument’s sake, I will pretend to believe that there is a God whom you can ask to remove the will to drink and drug from you. It strikes me as interesting that it’s still up to you to ask God for help; it’s up to you to “surrender” to his will. If you could do that at any moment, then are you really powerless?
The answer is obviously no. If you have the ability to choose to have god remove the will to drink and drug from you at any time, then you are never powerless over the cunning and baffling drugs and alcohol, and in fact, you relied on yourself to make the choice to surrender to your HP and stop drinking/drugging.
To this point:
I would refer you to this recent post: http://www.thecleanslate.org/do-alcoholics-lose-control-the-results-of-priming-dose-experiments-say-no/
The post deals with actual scientific evidence which shows that “alcoholics” do not literally “lose control” of their drinking once they consume alcohol (“after the first drink”). Many of the experiments covered in that post were done on drinkers with massive problems – in some cases, homeless-on-the-streets-begging-for-change-to-buy-booze type of problems. But I doubt you’re much interested in that, because you’re using the “No True Scotsman” fallacy: http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-propaganda.html#real_Scotsman
The only real addict or real alcoholic is the person who believes that is what they are. This is because of the reality that thoughts are at the base of feelings – including the feeling of powerlessness.
I don’t want to try to rob you of your faith, and furthermore, I can’t do that. I can’t control what people think (see, contrary to what we’ve been told in AA, us atheists don’t believe that we are each the most powerful force in the universe). Nevertheless, my opinion is that you made the choice to change; and you were taught to frame that choice to change as not being a choice, but as being a miracle from God. If framing it that way works for you, then please don’t visit this site. Enjoy your 12-step recovery lifestyle of faith in a physical disease and faith in a never-ending process of spiritual healing from that physical disease. Don’t try to reason about addiction, don’t try to argue with the disease model detractors like me who are approaching addiction from a reason angle rather than a faith angle. Don’t read this site, because it is irrelevant to your approach.
I get very lost trying to respond to these type of comments, and I let most of them slip by because I don’t want to challenge the true believers for two reasons: they’re not dealing in reason, they’re dealing in faith – and I don’t want to mess with your path. If it’s working for you, then you shouldn’t be on this site. However, when I get a deluge of these comments from one person, I think that somewhere deep down under all of the logical fallacies and articles of faith is a questioning spirit who seeks to really understand what they’re going through. I know I sound like a rude prick, but I hope some of what I’ve said here helps you to understand things better.
To this point:
Because at the moment they’re choosing to use, they believe it is their best option for happiness. They believe the costs are worth the benefits. They value the immediate sensation of intoxication more than what they’re trading for it. People make all kinds of choices everyday that are accompanied by high costs. In his paper “the naked empress” addiction researcher Peter Cohen gives the example of people hiding Jews from the Nazis during WWII. Why would they do that, when they know it could end with unspeakable torture and death for themselves? Why would they risk losing everything? Were these people diseased? Or did they just happen to think they’d be happier doing this and accepting the attendant consequences than they would be with their other options of keeping quiet, not getting involved, and looking the other way. You may judge the act of helping a persecuted minority as more noble than getting high, but that’s irrelevant. The logic of your point is that people wouldn’t willfully take on high costs and risks. This is one of many potential examples where people clearly willfully make such choices.
Your reply to Mitch from 8/19/2013 is so well-written and gives me hope that recovery is possible without 12-step dogma. I know I am powerless, what I want is to feel confident, stable, content with my life, and empowered so not doing drugs feels better than doing them. I am a spiritual person, but AA/NA makes me uncomfortable and I often leave meetings with more cravings and immediately get high afterwards. Your insight about the cost-benefit analysis addicts go through describes my struggles perfectly: I know that in the long run the benefits of not using outweigh the benefits of using, but instant reward is often hard to deny.
There are many paths/processes towards recovery, if we achieve a drug-free lifestyle, does it really matter how we achieved it?
Thank you as well for that well worded response. Great to hear a logical approach that is full of hope.
Step One
We admitted we we powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable
It doesn’t matter what or how much we used. In Narcotics Anonymous staying clean has to come first. We realize that we cannot use drugs and live. When we admit our powerlessness and the inability to manage our own lives, we open the door to recovery. No one could convince us that we were addicts. It is an admission that we had to make for ourselves. When some of us have doubts, we ask ourselves this question: “Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood-altering chemicals?”
Most will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested. Whatever the outcome, we find that we cannot control our using for any length of time.
This would clearly suggest that an addict has no control over drugs. Powerlessness means using against our will. If we can’t stop, how can we tell ourselves we are in control? The inability to stop using, even with the greatest willpower and the most sincere desire, is what we mean when we say, “We have absolutely no choice”. However, we do have a choice after we eliminate all the things we have been telling ourselves to justify our using.
We didn’t stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness or willingness. We reached the point where we could no longer continue because of physical, mental, and spiritual pain. When we were beaten, we became willing.
Our inability to control our usage of drugs is a symptom of the disease of addiction. We are powerless not only over drugs, but our addiction as well. We need to admit this in order to recover. Addiction is a physical, mental and spiritual disease, affecting every area of our lives.
The physical aspect of our disease is the compulsive use of drugs: the inability to stop using once we have started. The mental aspect of our disease is the obsession, or overpowering desire, which leads us to using even when it has destroyed our lives. The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness. We felt that we could stop whenever we wanted to, despite all evidence to the contrary. Denial, substitution, rationalization, justification, distrust of others, guilt, embarrassment, dereliction, degradation, isolation, and loss of control are all results of our disease. Our disease is progressive, incurable and fatal. Most of us are relieved to find out we have a disease instead of a moral deficiency.
We are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery. Most of us tried to stop using on our own, but we were unable to live with or without drugs. Eventually we realized that we were powerless over our addiction.
Many of us tried to stop using on sheer willpower, and this turned out to be a temporary solution. We saw that willpower alone would not work for any length of time. We tried countless other remedies – psychiatrists, hospitals, recovery houses, lovers, new towns, new jobs. Everything we tried, failed. We began to see that we had rationalized the most outrageous sort of nonsense in order to justify the mess drugs had made of our lives.
Until we let go of all our reservations, the foundation on which our recovery is based is in danger. Reservations, no matter what they are, rob us of obtaining all the benefits this program has to offer. In ridding ourselves of all reservations, we surrender. Then, and only then, can we be helped to recover from the disease of addiction.
Now, the question is: “If we are powerless, how can Narcotics Anonymous help?” We begin by asking for help, and this is accomplished by working the Twelve Steps. The foundation is the admission that we, of ourselves, have no power over addiction. When we can accept this, we have completed the first part of Step One.
A second admission must be made before the foundation is complete. If we stop here, we will know only half the truth. We are great ones for manipulating the truth. We might say on one hand, “Yes, I am powerless over my addiction”, and on the other hand, “When I get my life together, I can handle drugs”. Such thoughts and actions led us back to active addiction. It never occurred to us to ask, “If we can’t control our addiction, how can we control our lives?” We felt miserable without drugs.
Unemployability, dereliction and destruction are easily seen as characteristics of an unmanageable life. Our families generally are disappointed, baffled and confused by our actions and often have deserted or disowned us. Becoming employed, socially acceptable and reunited with our families does not make our lives manageable. Social acceptability does not equal recovery.
We have found that we had no choice except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using. When we give our best, it works for us as it has worked for others. When we could no longer stand our old ways, we began to change. From that point forward, we can see that every clean day is a successful day, no matter what happens. Surrender means not having to fight anymore. We accept our addiction and life the way it is. We become willing to do whatever is necessary to stay clean, even the things we don’t like doing.
Until we took Step One, we were full of fear and doubt. At this point, many of us felt lost and confused. We felt different. Upon working this step, we affirmed our surrender to the principles of Narcotics Anonymous, and only then did we begin to overcome the alienation of addiction. Help for addicts begins only when we are able to admit complete defeat. This can be frightening, but it is the foundation on which we have built our lives.
Step One means that we do not have to use, and this is a great freedom. It took a while for some of us to realize how unmanageable our lives had become; for others of us, this was the only thing of which we could be sure. We knew in our hearts that drugs had the power to change us into something that we didn’t want to be.
Being clean and working this step, we are released from our chains. However, none of the steps work by magic. We do not just say the words of this step; we learn to live them. We see for ourselves that the Program has something to offer us.
We have found hope. We find that we can learn to function in the world we live in. We, too, can find meaning and purpose in life and be rescued from insanity, depravity and death.
When we admit our powerlessness and inability to manage our own lives, we open the door for a Power greater than ourselves to help us. It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going.
There is a diffrence between a drunk and someone with the disease of addiction. A drunk will quit drinking when his wife threatens to leave him if he doesnt stop. Someone with the disease of addiction will lose there wife, kids, family, homes, money, health, and ultimatily everything until death. Anyone can become addicted or depended on a substance but not everyone can get clean on there own. I am someone with the disease of addiction i started using drugs at age 13 and i used until 19. I lost everything on that list i stated and it still wasnt enough to make me stop i had no fucking power. under your standard I had a choice in the matter of losing all of those things. That is so so false its not even funny. What it took for me and so many others was a power greater than myself because my entire life I relied on me and look where that got me shooting up dope in an alley in Detroit. I never volunteered for that so please tell me where is the power in that. A 16 year old kid shooting up heroin in a trap house where my life was being threatend constantly but all i could think about was the next use. I did get clean one time at a rehab center and they preached along the lines of what you did. I was clean for two weeks got out and started to think ive got this I do have power. The moment i put the power back into my hands I was using in minutes believing I could use just one. That is pure and utter insanity (insanity doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result). This is a mental illness this is not normal and there is no power that could stop me. Finally I stopped relying on me two years ago and turned to something greater than myself which can be anything BUT YOU!!!! now i am clean with two years and conting i am soooooo happy today im in school fulltime with a fulltime job and i can finally love me. But these achievement were because i accepted that i cant rely on myself anymore when it comes to drugs. So once again there is a huge diffrence between someone who is a drunk and someone who actually has a disease. The drunk can quit by themselves but the person with the disease of addiction cannot if they do not get help they will end up in an institution and ultimatly a body bag.
The idea of powerlessness is to get the addict to stop relying on themselves and to get out of there own head for once. Why would an addict that messed up there entire life rely on self. That would be doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result which is the definition for INSANITY. So really your article is preaching its ok to practice INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!!
Will you give a response to my comment??
The criteria for chemical abuse, according to the DSM-IV diagnostic and statistical manual, are:
1) a maladaptive pattern of drug use leading to impairment or distress, presenting as one or more of the following over a 12-month period –
recurrent use leading to failure to fulfill obligations
recurrent use that is physically hazardous
recurrent drug-related legal problems, and
continued use despite social/interpersonal problems
2) the symptoms have never met the criteria for chemical dependence.
Dependence is “impaired control” over drug use, probably caused by a dysfunction in the brain’s pleasure pathway. This is the disease of addiction, an “I can’t stop without help” disease. It requires formal therapy and/or 12 steps and might require anti-craving drug therapy. The DSM-IV criteria for chemical dependence are:
There are fundemental differences between someone with the disease of addiction and someone who is just addicted to the substance. Both need to be treated differently.
So, although it “looks” as if most people evolve from abuse to dependence, people can become dependent during their first year of using drugs, including alcohol. People in recovery seem to understand that some people become “instantly” dependent with the very first use of the drug; most reports concern early onset with the use of alcohol and cocaine. There is only one explanation, and it lies in the physiology of the medial forebrain bundle, or MFB, also known as the mesolimbic dopamine system.
The neurobiological model of “impaired control” characteristics.
A key point is that the “dependence” brain areas are in the part of the brain that governs unconscious thought. Dependence is not a “lack of will power” because
the main problem with dependence lies in the MFB
problems with the frontal cortex portion of the MFB produce a pathological impairment of decision-making.
Dependence is not mainly under conscious control!
There is a diffrence between a drunk and someone with the disease of addiction. A drunk will quit drinking when his wife threatens to leave him if he doesnt stop. Someone with the disease of addiction will lose there wife, kids, family, homes, money, health, and ultimatily everything until death. Anyone can become addicted or depended on a substance but not everyone can get clean on there own. I am someone with the disease of addiction i started using drugs at age 13 and i used until 19. I lost everything on that list i stated and it still wasnt enough to make me stop i had no fucking power. under your standard I had a choice in the matter of losing all of those things. That is so so false its not even funny. What it took for me and so many others was a power greater than myself because my entire life I relied on me and look where that got me shooting up dope in an alley in Detroit. I never volunteered for that so please tell me where is the power in that. A 16 year old kid shooting up heroin in a trap house where my life was being threatend constantly but all i could think about was the next use. I did get clean one time at a rehab center and they preached along the lines of what you did. I was clean for two weeks got out and started to think ive got this I do have power. The moment i put the power back into my hands I was using in minutes believing I could use just one. That is pure and utter insanity (insanity doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result). This is a mental illness this is not normal and there is no power that could stop me. Finally I stopped relying on me two years ago and turned to something greater than myself which can be anything BUT YOU!!!! now i am clean with two years and conting i am soooooo happy today im in school fulltime with a fulltime job and i can finally love me. But these achievement were because i accepted that i cant rely on myself anymore when it comes to drugs. So once again there is a huge diffrence between someone who is a drunk and someone who actually has a disease. The drunk can quit by themselves but the person with the disease of addiction cannot if they do not get help they will end up in an institution and ultimatly a body bag.
Mate, there’s a difference between getting help and support, and being powerless. Some people benefit from others to help them realise that power. In my opinion that is how AA etc can help some people. For others, that model doesn’t work. It can make things worse. Different strokes.
Ok im going to make this short I just wanted to clarify somethings I think you have misconstrued. I never said that my higher power was god I said something greater than myself (something besides me.) I am actually a non beliver in this entity called god!! What my higher power is, is the organization and program i went through that saved my life. They picked me up at my ultimate worst and helped me live a happy life. So no not god in anyway shape or form it was help and treatment and therapy and support i choose to call my higher power because its not me. It takes me out of my own self for once and lets me be open to help. That is the whole idea of powerlessness is to get me away from my own head for once. Also if your saying that many other research and facts are possibly false when it comes to this disease, why would I rely on your supposed facts to disproving it. Ultimately if there are facts to both side why believe any of it? You also talk about happiness is the reason to still use. I am speaking for myself but I was never happy using waking up every morning in the worst imaginable pain possible being depressed and suicidal constantly and constantly craving this drug that is killing me is not my idea for happiness if it is for you ok then. Another thing adding onto this happiness while using theory is when the drugs stop working. my last two years of drug use i was just using to feel normal and this happens the further someone progresses into there addiction. I would use and still feel like shit and still be depressed but i still could not stop using I wanted to but i could not! The only reason i was able to quit was because I overdosed weighing 97 pounds and six foot tall i was dying after the hospital i was pushed into treatment and that is what saved my life not me. Like I said before even with this knowledge of powerlessness I am living an extremely healthy and happy life im not down or depressed bc of this knowledge. I understand some of your points bc honestly a lot and i mean a lot of NA and AA groups are corrupt But that is why You pick and choose what to take or go to another place. I think for many people who went through addiction it is nessicary to get them help and not always NA OR AA I personally go to Counseling three times a week and also facilitate my own group called addicts for addicts there is no preaching no god just a place for people to come and vent and start to deal with there inner issues. It is never a drug problem it is always an inside issue and improper coping skills which is why all addicts should have help and support when they hit those low points in life. Anyway i went a little longer than i thought hope you have a wonderful life filled with joy but honestly rethink the whole help thing there is nothing wrong with treatment it really doesnt hurt to stop relying on self.
Hi Mitch,
I fully understood that you didn’t say God. Which is why I explained Higher Power in my reply:
You can’t get away from the fact that the higher power concept in 12-step programs is God. It doesn’t matter if it’s a doorknob, Oak Tree, or Group Of Drunks – whatever it is, as conceived in taught in 12-step programs, it needs to be able to do the things that a God can do – answer prayers; mystically remove the will to drink, etc.
Also, I don’t know that there are facts for both sides concerning the issue of powerlessness. Literally, there seems to be no “evidence” presented in a logical way to support the idea that “addicts and alcoholics” can’t control themselves – other than subjective reports. I love to hear people’s experiences, and I think it’s a valuable source of information in many ways – but it just doesn’t match up to the kind of experiments that I linked to.
I understand that people really “feel” powerless, but this doesn’t mean that they’re literally powerless. I felt that way long ago, so I know what it’s like. But no matter how powerless over substance use that I felt – I still never pulled out a needle and started shooting up in front of a police officer, or my parents, etc. I made calculated willfully thought out decisions designed to keep getting the feeling that I wanted from drugs. Was it bliss? Was it joyous? For the last 5 years of my drug use, I’d say no. It was hell. BUT, it provided a relative level of happiness. Even to get un-dope-sick, without much of a high at all, was, from my perspective at least a slightly better feeling than I felt without doing so – so it was happiness – but it wasn’t a lot of happiness – it wasn’t joy or bliss, or whatever descriptors we might use to denote high levels of happiness. I was not happy with the general state of my life when I was a heavy substance user – but I enjoyed the physical sensations provided by drugs and alcohol.
People are brainwashed into believing that they didn’t like being high or drunk before they got into recovery. This talking point gets repeated ad nauseam at meetings and you begin to believe it yourself. Then you rewrite your past to reflect what you need to think and say at AA in order to fit in. Memories are highly malleable. If there is such a thing called “denial” in addiction, this is it. Why did you do it if you didn’t like anything about? What motivated your usage? Did you really not even like the first 30 seconds after shooting up?
Please don’t let your dislike of the longer-term consequences of drug use cloud the reality that you liked the immediate effects of drugs and alcohol. I doubt that building your life changes upon distortions of reality is a wise course of action. You can acknowledge substance use for exactly what it is – a quick physical thrill. By doing this, you can take the power away from it. It doesn’t have to be mysterious, and it doesn’t have to be more than a quick thrill.
The more you believe substances to be this big powerful thing that controlled you and that you needed to “cope” with stress, anxiety, depression, or trauma, etc – then the more meaningful and attractive it will become to you. Keep it simple smarty – drugs and alcohol provide the quick thrill of intoxication. There is much documented research showing that this feeling has been interpreted different ways in different cultures at different times. You can believe it to be whatever you want – and that’s what you should know as a fact about the experience of intoxication. Some cultures believe it to cause uncontrolled sexual behavior, others believe it to cause uncontrolled violence, others believe it to cause neither – and each lives out its expectations when intoxicated. Back in the “reefer madness” days people ended up with psychosis when they smoked pot – because that was what they expected. When the culture changed a bit, and people learned to interpret intoxication from marijuana differently, they stopped having psychoses and ending up in psych wards from it. The same thing happened with LSD in the 60’s – once people knew what to expect from lsd, they stopped going crazy from it. Many people will drink to relax one night, and drink to get wild the next night. How does the same substance do both of these things? It has the effect you expect it to. This importantly includes the notion of “loss of control” – if you believe that “one drink equals a drunk”, then you will respond to the first drink by drinking many more.
The experience of intoxication is a blank slate – the chemical reality is that it provides a pleasurable physical sensation, and affects motor skills and various regulatory systems of the body such as heart rate. It’s enjoyable to a certain degree, but if you recognize it for exactly how small and meaningless it is, then you just might realize that you have much more fulfilling things to do with your time. You might also see where it can fit into your life without being a problem. But as long as you agree to paint substances and the experience of intoxication as cunning, baffling, powerful, or a lifeline for “underlying issues”, then you’ll continue to have problems with substance use. There is a never-ending supply of life circumstances and events that you can view as depressing, stressful, or anxiety-producing – believing that these things can cause you to turn to heavy substance use, and that you need “support”, lest you “relapse” – is a perfect recipe for repeatedly cycling between heavy substance use problems and “early recovery.” Not to mention, it facilitates dependence upon the recovery culture (12-step meetings, and treatment programs).
Who do you rely on when you’re not in a 12-step meeting or counseling session? Who makes your choices for you at those times?
Ok so im not brainwashed or dumb i know you didn’t say that I’m just explaining! I do not see drugs as this taboo. I obviously know that there are plenty of benefits when it comes to drug use and actually through the treatment center i went through they didn’t preach triggers and shit like that they told us why we go back its because of the benefits its bc for 20mins to maybe an hour i could escape my childhood abuse. I know this I am not nieve trust me. I guess what i was trying to get across is that there really are so many more negatives to using than the high. I personally was miserable while using I couldn’t hide anymore it was all raw and painful (my inner issues). You say i might be recreating these memories or lying to myself I dont believe thats true. I know Why i used back then this is very obvious to me (key word back then). I was abused sexually and pysically my entire life and the only way to feel ok was through drugs and alcohol. I know for a fact if i didnt use back then I would have either of been a serial killer or suicide victim. Drugs for the longest time saved my life they were my solution i know all this you are preaching to the choir. Also I think you believe i’m this AA or NA fanatic or like i’m in a cult? This is not the fact I rarely go to meetings to be honest I don’t like a lot that they preach its mostly the people though (the crazy ones). Thats not me though I think AA can be amazing for a lot of people though i’ve seen it in action for example my father 39 years clean and sober and he is happy as can be never relapsed once after joining the program. He may go twice a month hes not a slave to the program but if he has a shitty day he may meditate or call a friend to keep him out of his head. Im not miserable Im actually extremely happy where I am today But I also don’t take all the credit and i really don’t want to. So yeah I really dont follow the twelve steps to the tee yes ive done them but its not my religion or way of life. What is though is being humble taking things for face value and finding an understanding in every aspect of my life weather it may be good or bad, their can always be an understanding. I make it through a day by not giving the drugs power over me I dont glorify it but I also dont forget it. Im not dependent on the recovery culture or my counseling I can take two week vacations with out an urge and be amazing this is because I have nothing to want to hide from I deal with my issues as they come. I think that is key for people getting better is opening up the doors they dont want to and really look inside thats what i have done and it works. You asked who makes my choices for me at those times when i’m not at meetings. Well like I said before I don’t really go to meeting I do go to counseling. So I guess when I am not at counseling and I’m having a rough day ill meditate or get active or call a friend try to get outside of myself. Just wondering do you have an issue with counseling or any form of help what so ever other than doing it by yourself? I will give you this though maybe I do have some choice in the matter when it comes to me being clean and sober and wanting to relapse. But I know that When i was under the influence of a 5 year binge I was completely powerless to quit without help. Did you quit by yourself without any help?? How did you do it? How long have you been clean? What about the people who need medical attention to avoid seizures and other consequences to withdrawal is that kind of help ok aka Rehab? Or Suboxone Programs? I also agree with some of your other stuff a lot of treatment centers are very fucked up and all about money I wont say they are all perfect. But they are also not all bad there are many out patient programs that stray from the norm. For example I went through a program called woodward counseling it was an out patient suboxone program for 4 months I am now working here facilitating the groups. They never lied to me they told me that the drugs weren’t the issue it was always my self hatred and inner issues I didnt know how to cope with properly. They were professional and helped me through my PTSD from the child abuse and other problems I had had. Anyways ill close this out by letting you know im actually a really happy, successful, Loving, caring, understanding, husband, and father who overcame his addiction I dont give the drugs power over me that helps me i know my next use really could be my last a friend of mine a month ago relapsed took a small shot and died. Addiction beat him I guess he made that choice to die tho? But yeah I’m not apart of the 12step cult or treatment dependency i due know people replace drugs with 12steps i know that.
Also how did you deal with your self issues by yourself? and without ever asking for help? Were you actually able to deal with your problems alone right after getting clean?
Hi Mitch,
You said:
Sorry if I misunderstood. Perhaps the fact that for your first of several posts here you actually cut and pasted 17 paragraphs from an NA pamphlet might give the impression that you’re a 12-step fanatic? http://www.na.org/admin/include/spaw2/uploads/pdf/litfiles/us_english/Booklet/Intro%20Guide%20to%20NA.pdf
Now to answer your questions:
I’m not against “help”, I am against most addiction counseling that I am aware of that is available in treatment program. Most of it is heavily connected with 12-step ideology: http://www.thecleanslate.org/its-all-twelve-step-so-stop-talking-about-science-already/ – thus it promotes the doctrines of disease, loss of control, and powerlessness. I believe these are ideas which likely lead to more harm than good.
Again, I am not against people asking for, or receiving help – but I am against most of the methods of help available. I do not believe they are truly helpful, and I think the statistics show this.
I received help, from the Saint Jude Retreat, which taught me that I did not have a disease, I was not powerless, and that I was full control of my choices to use substances, and that I was making the choice for the small amount of happiness it brings, but that I could choose to pursue greater happiness and make different choices at any time if I wanted. They taught me I could make my own changes. They didn’t counsel me, and they didn’t treat me. They provided me with new information and ideas. It worked.
Previously, I had been going to conventional treatment programs – inpatient, outpatient, methadone, etc, as well as AA, NA, and CA meetings – for 5 years, and was always getting worse with my problems the whole time. I had also spent time in jails and on probation.
I chose to be fully abstinent from drugs and alcohol for about 4-5 years, and then decided to drink “like a normal person”, and have done so for the past 7 years. I haven’t had any issues with drug or alcohol use for almost 12 years. I do nothing designed to keep me sober or prevent relapse. I have moved on from seeing myself as an addict.
I have no objection whatsoever to medically assisted detoxification. I make note of that often on this site, and even have a bit of information about it on the front page of the site and the “about” page. I think some of the medications used to treat withdrawal are misused by the medical profession in ways that entrench disease thinking – that lure people into thinking that there problem is biological.
I am happy for anyone who finds meaningful change in their life by whatever means they find it. This site is not designed to lure people out of something that they enjoy such as addiction counseling or 12-step meetings. It is designed to explore problematic substance use (what’s known as addiction or alcoholism), to present theories and information about what it is, why people do it, and how they change it. It is here to offer counterpoint to the ruling paradigm, and especially to challenge the disease, powerlessness, loss of control messages rampant in the culture.
In my last response to you I introduced a tougher concept, that I think you misunderstood. It took me a long time to grasp this concept, so I don’t hold it against you that you didn’t understand: conceiving of substance use as motivated by the pursuit of happiness is not the same as conceiving of it as an escape from pain (stress, trauma, depression anxiety – so-called “underlying causes of addiction” or “underlying issues”). I haven’t talked about it much on the site previously, but the point is this: you can deal with substance as purely a pursuit of happiness issue. You can come to believe that your life would simply be better without it (or with less of it) – and that even if you have these other pains in your life, they don’t have to have anything to do with substance use. If you have those problems (and most of us are guaranteed to have them at various times of our lives), you can deal with them separately. However, when you believe that your use is caused by these pains, they become linked with substance use in such a way that if you feel that you’ve failed at coping with them, you will feel as if you must turn to substance use. This doesn’t have to be the case. I’m talking about the “self-medication” theory, and I think this is also a harmful doctrine of the treatment world (especially the “alternative treatment” world.
Countless people face stress, anxiety, trauma, and depression without turning to heavy substance use. This is because they don’t mentally connect these problems with substance use. Also, many of them don’t have really great “coping methods” for these pains, yet they don’t turn to heavy substance use. They go through the pain. With this in mind, should treatment programs be teaching people that their substance use is “caused” by these pains? I don’t mean to suggest that people shouldn’t seek out ways to deal with emotional pain – I only mean to say they shouldn’t be taught to make their decisions about substance use dependent upon their success or failure at dealing with emotional pain. Because again – we’re all gonna deal with such pains at various times in our lives. If heavy substance use is something we realize we want to end in our lives, why can’t it just end? Why must it live on in our minds as a danger if we have these pains?
This danger can be avoided by untangling substance use from these problems, and seeing it for exactly what it is – the pursuit of happiness. Does it provide you enough happiness to outweigh its costs? No? Cool. Would you be happier without it? Yes. Great. Change it, and don’t look back; don’t connect it with things that it doesn’t need to be connected with.
While attending 12 steps meetings, I would often pray to God to help me not use again. He answered that prayer but not in the way I thought he would. Here is the answer after 5 years of 12 stepping. “I’ve already helped you. It’s called a conscience. You have a conscience that helps you distinguish destructive and nondestructive actions. I also gave you a brain that has the capacity to remember events from your past, so you can remember just how shitty you felt after coming down off your high and going through the withdrawals.
It always comes back to learning to become an adult, doesn’t it?
It’s really about finding ideas that work for you, isn’t it? Sounds like you’ve found that.
“I’ve already helped you. It’s called a conscience. You have a conscience that helps you distinguish destructive and nondestructive actions.”
Isn’t it so much better to end up believing you’re empowered to change than it is to believe that you’re powerless? I’d add to your quote above: you can also distinguish between actions that are destructive and creative, and those that bring greater levels of happiness. Sounds like you’ve probably found those actions.
Congrats on finding your answers, D.
Simple. If it works for you then do it. If you find you need more than do that. Myself, I have left the 12 step programs over 3 years ago and if I look back, my life is better today than it was then. I found swimming in the fish bowl kept me trapped.
Hello, I found your site on a whim, and am thankful that I have! My boyfriend is in the 12 step program, and he has been clean for 3 years. He attributes his ongoing success to the meetings. He states they help him because it requires him to talk about his problems, connect with others and so forth; we always got into small debates about the higher power aspect, and my discomfort with them saying its ambiguous, and yet state “GOD” and surrendering to God. My main argument was, what if you do not beleive in GOD ( I am a Buddhist and do not beleive in GOD), what am I suppose to surrender to? in the End, I told him, that I CHOOSE to beleive, just as he has, that it is the power of choice; I told him that he choose to stop, for his reason (which, ironically enough, was not GOD or any type of spiritual aspect), and that is the reason why he is clean, not the higher power. The fact he chooses to go to meetings, and chooses to keep himself open to positivism; He then said I over analyze and Intellectualize the 12 steps too much,lol.
I suffer from Cyclothymia and Boderline Massive Depression disorder, and currently sought out help, when i felt my life was becoming unmanageable ( I changed my mind on this aspect; I now believe that my bad habits and ability to hide them have become unmanageable, not Life itself); I do not like groups when it comes to therapy and with most depressed, do not like talking or even admitting we have problems. Therefore, meetings and even the 12 stop dogma was highly unattractive to me; Depressed people are already told that their condition and mood swing is not within their control, so why would I admit to powerlessness? I felt that would push me to edge, powerless over something that I cannot control or at fault with.. that’s fucked up in my eyes. ( I do not need anything else feeding into my already imploded pessimism) I eventually, agreed to one-on-one counseling and felt more comfortable with that; I also began to create a regiment that includes yoga, exercise and meditate, all of which requires great discipline, if i want to keep my “cycles” in check; I know I have to live with depression, but I refuse to constantly make choices that allow the effects to rule my life.
I questioned myself, on whether I was intellectualizing the 12 step, therefore that’s why it wouldn’t work; but after reading countless articles and hearing all sides, I am glad to say that i feel a bit more confident in my choice just to seek one on one counseling instead of a 12 step. I am the type, like you; if it works for you, it works for YOU. I am glad my bf is doing the 12 step, it saved his life; I just beleive that it works because he ALLOWED it to work.
Hope you know that your writing reached out to someone who doesn’t have substance abuse or chooses alcohol, and it helped them. The Man who’s question was about whom has power over their choices, would deliberately do things to lose family or put one in danger, clearly has not met anyone extremely depressed or with bipolar disorder. When you do not care about life, you make many decisions that reflect your carelessness. We know we have power of choice, we just choose to destroy ourselves based off a an outlook on life , we feel is not worth living.. I will seek help and hope to post a comment in the near future of how I have developed better and more constructive coping mechanisms. glad to know I am not alone with the reaction I had to the 12 step doctrine.
Since my husband has been attending 12-step daily over the last three years I have noticed a significant change in his behavior, and it has not been for the better. He neglects me, his family, his career, his (other) religious community, his entire life out of the program, to focus on recovery. This is frustrating because he was abstinent from drugs on his own, with no help for 9 years, followed by a relapse of only 3 months. Then coming up on four years of 12-step. He says he feels better but I think he has just exchanged one addiction for any one.
Thank you for this website. I have struggled with gambling for 20 years and did 12 months of GA and always struggled with the “powerlessness” and “higher power”. It makes much for sense to say that one does have power over addictions and to learn how we can strengthen this power. I am now looking at participating alternative support that encourages the development of personal power and changes. Thanks again.
Thank you for this site, and this post about powerlessness in particular. I have struggled with alcohol for much of my adult life. Have been in and out of “recovery” (12 step) for the past 7-8 years. For me, the notion of powerlessness makes me feel worse about myself and I feel as though I may as well just keep drinking to excess. There was so much in AA that didn’t sit well with me. Especially the blaming the addict for not “getting it” or “working the program hard enough.” During one period of abstinence with regular 12 step attendance, my sponsor told me that I wasn’t attending enough meetings and wasn’t getting in touch with God enough. I already had a crammed schedule (job, commute, meetings, meeting with sponsor) and was sacrificing sleep! The message that I wasn’t doing enough sent me right back out. The other things that bothered me were the conflicting slogans, particularly “think think think” and “your best thinking got you here.” Which is it?
I know it works for some people, but it just isn’t for me. Today I am starting over on another attempt to get and stay sober. This site seems to be a good resource.
Yes to every true statement in this article. Let’s remember that people quit all the time and they also successfully moderate all the time as well.
It’s interesting reading all these ideas. 12 step programs may not be the only way and the wording may be flawed and not true and it may be a cult with cult type ideas. All I can speak about is my own experience. I was suffering with “major depression” as a result of a relationship addiction. In my case a lifelong pattern of “magical thinking” and bad decisions led to negative results which culminated in hopelessness. The religious community I belonged to and was devoted to gave only platitudes and little “real help.” 12 step recovery gave me an environment which allowed me to progress at my own rate challenging me when I spouted off with ineffective coping ways and inspired me with people who had been “recovered” from that seamingless hopeless state of mind and body. I had outside counseling for years and it was helpful. I had help with medication from Psychiatry which was helpful as well. Before my addiction took off I took the Myers-Briggs personality test and the indicators showed ENTP. Over ten years later I took the test again and the indicators showed ENFJ. I was able to get off all psychotropic medications in 2003 and have not been on any since. Is AA the only answer? no. Is AA flawed in any way? yes. I know people who have not benefited from 12 step recovery for different reasons. One friend has Borderline Personality Disorder and cannot stand to have any challenges to her outlook.
One of the ways 12 step recovery helped me over time was developing good emotional health. I grew up in a family where feelings and emotions and sex were never discussed. I do not attend organized religion anymore because after having many negative experiences with it I find it counter to my beliefs..
Whether you believe 12 step recovery does not work is ok with me. The AA program states that it does not have a corner market on sobriety. I drank after coming into AA in 1997 and the effects of drinking were far worse than before. Does that prove anything? It proves that, for me, to the degree I was working the AA program was not strong enough. The AA promises have come true for me. They continue to come true. I am over 15 years sober and enjoying life. Does everything work out the way I would like it to? heck no. I have moved from the “staunch believer” category through agnostic to possible atheist. I like the idea that I am responsible for my thinking, behavior and happiness. I know that having expectations on outcomes reduces my level of contentment and happiness. I know that holding grudges or resentments reduces my sense of contentment and happiness. I know that the founders of 12 step recovery were human just like me. I know the struggles of establishing 12 step recovery were fraught with failures and learning opportunities. Having gone from hopelessness and depression to reasonable happiness and contentment works for me. If it doesn’t work for you I hope you find whatever method does…. 😉
The late, great, George Carlin, in one of his annual HBO comedy specials right after 09/11, did an excellent “analysis” and “consolidation” of “the 10 Commandments”. He referred to the one on “coveting” as “just plain, fuckin stupid!” That is pretty much all that needs to be said about this “powerless” idea, as written in “Step 1” of AA’s 12 Steps. The “idea” that someone, anyone, is somehow “powerless” over an INANIMATE OBJECT (e.g. alcohol!) is, “JUST PLAIN, FUCKIN STUPID!” The supplemental idea (that NA adopts!), that a person with an addiction is somehow “powerless” over an “addiction” (that they get to accelerate, moderate, modify, or STOP ENTIRELY when they want to!) is “JUST PLAIN FUCKIN STUPID!” This gets PROVED when people STOP their addictions (which NA people think continues AFTER a person has STOPPED USING A DRUG!). This INSECURITY, UNCERTAINTY, and OUTRIGHT GAS-LIGHTING is what 12 Steppism THRIVES ON! It is as terroristic to the recovering addict’s thought processes and self-esteem, as ISLAM IS to peaceful civilization. The idiocy of “powerlessness” is intended to get an addicted person to GIVE UP the COMPLETE CONTROL THEY HAVE over themselves, and abdicate it to: a “sponsor” (who is as dysfunctional as they are!), a “12 Step group” (which is a group of dysfunctionals MAGNIFIED!), or a “spiritual entity” who may have a “will” that wants the person to REMAIN ADDICTED in the first place! The “powerless” idea PROVES that 12 Step groups DO. NOT. WANT. an addicted person TO SUCCEED (then they might stop coming to the damned group!). I cannot think of a greater act of mental terrorism to inflict on an addicted person then telling them they are somehow, someway, “powerless”
It’s lunacy to teach people they don’t have the capacity to solve their problems or the ability to abstain from self-destructive behavior. The 12-Step slogan, “Your best thinking got you here” is crippling and harmful because it reinforces powerlessness by teaching helplessness, inadequacy, and incompetency.
Greetings,
This is all a breath of fresh air. Appreciate this web-site immensely.
I’ve been drinking heavy, as a work-a-holic-alc-o-holic, off and on for 35 years, got sick of the hang overs and just put myself through one of the “grand-daddy” treatment centers of the 12-step cult universe, to see what it was all about. And to get some distance between myself and my last IPA (I’ll certainly miss all that hoppy goodness). After 28 days I think I can sympathize a little bit with some of those Branch Davidians that really thought Koresh was a huge lying POS. BTW, I am an anthropologist with an advanced degree and work in the field so I’m no stranger to understanding the intricacies (galore) of the human mind or the behavioral complexity it certainly appears to love to generate.
So yeah. I think there are such people, my daughter and I call “Leaving Las Vegas” addicts. People that will easily kill themselves on addictive and toxic substances at a whim, and do so very effectively and absolutely have little control. And I believe to some extent, or I should say “provisionally” (after all, we are dealing with statistical “soft-science” here – correlation does not mean causation…) probably need to be removed from society to dry out and be medically monitored for months on end, to keep them from killing themselves and/or others with their tendencies. Does that behavior provide the fodder to define the totally arbitrary medical concept known as “disease”? Concepts are notoriously fluid and subject to well-documented complexities of cultural tides, not to mention more importantly, hypothesis revision… so I’m not so sure it’s a question that even matters. What we’ve got are habits that APPEAR LIKELY to be driven by brain chemistry and craving. If people need to call that a disease, or a pear, or purple alien from name-your-planet, they can. And they will. Whatever works, I guess.
But to claim powerlessness over addiction beyond the Leaving Las Vegas type, is beyond the pale of any even sloppy reason. For a regulated and vetted addiction professional, to do it with the almost-inevitable outcome of relapse, is simply immoral. Or it should be. It’s definitely irresponsible. If not idiotic. Not in this day an age.
It’s really simple, as a person trained in analyzing and interpreting historic evidence (not to mention a prodigious about of history writing), this idea of “powerlessness” is just simply a continuation of Christian doctrine, and that doctrine has been pollinating movements like the Oxford Group for centuries upon centuries. There’s not much else to say… but yet there is. I was sickened by the self-flagellating I witnessed in what was commonly referred to as the “cadillac of treatment” facilities. It was appalling, as it was consistently pushed on my fellow sufferers by staff, with ardent relish. AA is simply a continuation of the Christian doctrine pertaining to whatever “sin” is, and we all know, or should know (I attended an “orthodox” and therefore VERY conservative Lutheran parochial school for eight grades) with how much relish that has been pushed on the Masses or Rabble over vast stretches of Western history. The outcome of “powerlessness” is docility and humiliation, just like the Good Book calls for (and that other one written by that scamming, god-fearin’ stockbroker during the Dirty Thirties). That doesn’t work with addiction, or whatever “concept of the month” we want to pigeon hole the substance abuse problem with at the moment.
I put myself in treatment. And some didn’t. But we all make decisions as to whether or not we want to abstain. Eventually we do. Even the Leaving Las Vegas types – after a lot of “weening off” is completed. It’s all a decision – and that is immense power coming from the self.
People drawn to AA are prone to religious beliefs about supplication and humility or obedience. Higher power is a term that gets them off in many ways. All these are indicators of pants-shitting fear and low self-esteem for the substance habituated individual. A total lack of confidence. These things cause “addiction” and these things will get you to “relapse” as well.
Boldness is in order.
The point is, stand on your own two feet people and be your own goddamn higher power. Quit sniveling about your sins… because you don’t have any. You have a problem that needs a lot of attention and hard work to solve. Only you are going to get that done. Only you are going to seek and marshal the resources need to get that done.
This website is one of the better ones I’ve seen.
I know this blog is old, but feel compelled to weigh in.
So why all the vitriol folks, including Mr. Slater? By definition an alcoholic is someone who has lost the ability to control their drinking. It’s an alcoholics nature. There is NOTHING to debate! Powerlessness and lack of control are synonyms. If you can control your drinking you’re not an alcoholic. Period! The 12&12 in the First Step clearly indicates that medical science may one day find a cure for alcoholism, but at the time it was written and until today, it hasn’t done so, and none appears to be on the horizon. Even rehab alone is a dismal failure. So why do courts order rehab and waste taxpayer’s money? I don’t know.
I attended an AA meeting this morning where a woman who had some sober time picked up one drink then couldn’t stop and then started destroying her life all over again. She returned to AA humiliated and broken, once again. Don’t you think that if she could control her drinking that she would continue to destroy her life? That’s the insanity of alcoholism and the story is as old as time and also mine.
When the steps and Big Book were written in 1938-1939, Bill W. was describing a phenomenon that all experienced and admits on page 164 that “We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.” Alcoholism research didn’t take place until the 1950s and other than some minor revisions (by Bill himself?) no revisions of the Big Book have been made with the changing of knowledge and experience to AA’s detriment. I can theorize, but I don’t know if this lack of control is physiological or mental or both. Medical science wouldn’t argue that if an alcoholic experiences delirium tremens (DTs) that he or she is physically addicted to alcohol.
Those who complain that AAs are taught that they need to work the program for life don’t understand. Alcoholics, IMHO, become such because they lost or never developed the personal tools to deal with life on life’s terms and turned to alcohol and easily become distracted, but alcoholism is all about avoidance. It becomes necessary to continue to reinforce the tools and lessons learned in order to stay sober. I think it is possible for a therapist to perform this role but I know of not one willing to see a patient on a lifetime basis.
Its not unlike the allergy metaphor, there is no ill effect from drinking alcohol, unless you actually have an allergy to alcohol and I doubt one such inflicted could drink enough over time to become alcoholic.
Finally, I fail to understand why there are those who deny the disease concept. Alcoholism follows a predictable path. It appears that at least some detractors believe that the disease concept exonerates an alcoholic from personal responsibility which is my objection to the belief that alcoholism is genetic, blame your body instead of yourself, though it has NEVER been proven and the existence of AA and its personal responsibility predicts it won’t be found. Some say that AA first proffered the disease concept to substance abuse and I haven’t looked for supporting or contradicting information. What is evident is that AA, and other 12-step programs, are based on personal responsibility, so the disease concept detractors fall flat on their face here.
Powerlessness or a lack of control, it is a real phenomenon, and without it an alcoholic can’t get sober, unless he/she isn’t an alcoholic. “If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face (regaining control over alcohol) and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him.”
People “advocating” for the “powerlessness” belief, ignore the simple fact that alcohol is an INANIMATE OBJECT that does NOT force its ingestion into ANY HUMAN BEING! People have AUTOMATIC POWER AND CONTROL over ANY AND ALL SUBSTANCES that come into their body, or the substance would never make it INTO THE BODY! Please give one provable, verifiable example of where an inanimate substance attacked a human being, and forced itself INTO that human being “rendering the human being powerless”. The “powerless” idea is nothing more then a pathetic abdication of personal responsibility by someone who WILL NOT take responsibility for their own damned actions! The same goes with the “disease” concept. A “disease” is a destructive MEDICAL CONDITION that a human being: DOES. NOT. CONTROL! They do not choose when to have it, when to get rid of it, what part of the body gets it, in what form or for how long, or the diseases severity. A substance abuser DOES DECIDE ALL THESE THINGS (since the substance cannot!). It’s time for these “disease advocates” and “powerlessness” perpetrators to stop their “BIG LIE” (i.e. by saying it loud enough and long enough-it somehow becomes true!). Addiction is NOT a “disease”. Never has been, never will be. “Powerlessness” does NOT EXIST when it takes a human being to ingest an inanimate substance, and that human being determines quantity of ingestion, method of ingestion, location of ingestion, and whether some gets “saved for later”. Then there is the price paid, and quantity obtained. Let’s see a person do ANY of those things with: influenza, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, Parkinson’s or aging! You are NOT POWERLESS! PERIOD!
Are you familiar with the phenomenon of learned helplessness? When people claim they “can’t” stop gambling or drinking or eating ice-cream every night, what they fail to understand is they’ve made a decision to continue the behavior. “Can’t” is often confused with “won’t”, which creates a false sense of powerlessness. Nobody puts things in their body involuntarily. Teaching people they are powerless is incredibly harmful and crippling.
“Rob says . . . (W)hat they fail to understand is they’ve made a decision to continue the behavior . . . Nobody puts things in their body involuntarily.”
Yours is a naive (and hostile) view. You are right that as a general rule, until a substance abuser reaches a point where he/she is addicted, he/she is voluntarily consuming mood altering substances. But your definition of “involuntary” is excessively narrow.
My statement above about voluntary consumption isn’t absolutely true, in some cases people are unknowingly self-medicating. People often crave things that contain a missing and necessary vitamins or minerals and find it difficult to ignore such cravings. For example, pregnant women have cravings.
So imagine an even stronger craving for a mood altering substance, one that you can’t ignore. Is consumption of mood altering substances voluntary because it is isn’t physically forced into our bodies, or involuntary because the craving to consume is all consuming. That’s why 12-step programs work, because it takes one to know one.
Why do you believe acknowledging choices and decisions is hostile? You’ve fallen into the AA trap of worshiping ethanol as a molecule that’s “cunning, baffling and powerful”. Teaching people they are powerless over desire is harmful. Cravings aren’t a “disease”. Desires are thoughts, and thoughts can’t force you to guzzle booze, drive to your crack dealer, eat a gallon of Jamocha Almond Fudge, watch porn, etc. To learn about cravings, investigate “The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction Is Not a Disease”, by Marc Lewis, which summarizes the latest research in neuroscience and outlines the scientific evidence why the “disease model” of addiction is wrong.
“Rob says . . .Why do you believe acknowledging choices and decisions is hostile?
Its is not your message that is hostile, it is how you express it and your close-mindedness.
You’ll never understand. It takes an alcoholic to know one.
30 years ago I too was a very angry and miserable soul and a 12-step program helped me. Maybe Alanon, Nar-Anon, Emotions or Neurotics Anonymous, or CODA may bring you some relief. God willing you will find relief.
The only path to freedom is to abandon the powerless mythology. Believing in powerlessness creates fear, anxiety, and dependency on “lifetime recovery”. What I’ve said has been positive and empowering. You’ve avoided all of my substantive comments, such as addressing learned helplessness. It appears you are trolling, and trying to generate negative emotional reactions. I’m sorry you are suffering and need attention. Although you are clearly not interested in discussing alternative perspectives, there are others reading these posts who are willing to consider what they’ve been taught about addiction is wrong and harmful.
“Troll” here.
Fact of the matter is that we have some militant AA bashers here . . .
AA, and consequently subsequently all 12-step programs, were founded on the basis that it takes one to know one or you must walk a mile in an alcoholic’s shoes in order to understand one. Detractors apparently are either not alcoholic or never spent enough time, if any, in AA or corresponding 12-step programs to understand it. Obviously AA works for some. Why not live and let live, AA is not going to try to recruit you? The answer is obvious . . .
Powerlessness or a lack of control does not have to be absolute or 100%, merely 51% or more. I had a relatively high bottom and struggled with this. This is overcome with the help of others, the tools we learn in AA and the assets we acquire, and most importantly, through our higher power.
Keep in mind that when the 12-steps were written, there were no experts on alcoholism. Even Carl Jung gave up on an early AA member circa 1931; AA was founded with the NY group breaking away from the Oxford Group in 1938 and the founding of the Alcoholic Foundation later (now AA World Services) in the year, but I don’t accept the 1935 meeting between Bill W., an Oxford group member at the time, and Dr. Bob as the founding event.
The Big Book may not follow medical science precisely as it has come to be since its 1939 publishing. AA uses only tools available in the 1930s, the power of observation, and those borrowed from the Oxford Group and others. Even the idea of an “allergy” to alcohol, a bad reaction, is a metaphor since it fails to meet the definition of an allergy. I would in fact support a rewrite of AA literature by you to reflect what we know today.
If you have a substance abuse problem and have overcome it by another means my hat is off to you. Feel free to discuss your “alternative” theories, but don’t expect me to engage. And don’t be so quick to take away a program that works. That would be anti-social.
The 1939 based mentality of AA is not at all competent, nor rational, nor even remotely a “solution”! The idea that a person with a substance use disorder can only be “assisted” by a person with a substance use disorder makes about as much sense as saying a doctor who treats you for a medical condition MUST HAVE the exact same fucking condition, or that a lawyer who defends you in court for an accused crime, must have committed that same crime! The best “analysis” (from primary source materials of AAWS no less!) of AA, and the 12 Step religion can be found on: “orange-papers.info”, and “morerevealed.com”. Those meticulously researched sites, and the even MORE METICULOUSLY RESEARCHED PRIMARY SOURCES, prove that AA is pathetic at best, criminal at worst, and in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, EVER been objectively proved to “work”. 80 years of saying something “works” is no more proof that it does, anymore then 2,000 years of claiming there is a deity proves that there is one! The 12 Step evangelical zealots that advocate most for the religion of 12 Steppism have only been exposed TO 12 Steppism. Perhaps if they researched the alternatives (as there are several!), and read that research on the sites referenced above would they see that there are MUCH BETTER alternatives to substance addiction recovery, then 12 Steppism could ever hope to be! Alternatives invented in the 21st Century that UPDATES as scientific research does. These modern day, updating alternatives, and the lack of COERCION AND psychological manipulation in using them will eventually replace the idiocy that is the worthless religion of 12 Steppism. Those who want to use a 1939 based “solution” can continue to do so, and when they keep relapsing might want to consider why they keep getting the same result, when they keep utilizing the same antiquated, non-sensical, faith-based “program”.
I love this discussion as I have felt very powerless over my addiction to alcohol and it is a very real feeling, but after much research I found really good rational information that immediately empowered me and encouraged me that I am in fact in control of my choices and that’s the way I choose to tackle my addiction…I would say that I would not spend your time in arguments with those who choose to believe they will be forever powerless to their addiction as they are incredibly vulnerable and it may trigger them to use. I realize you are trying to free them from faulty beliefs but if what they are currently doing is keeping them sober for now then leave them be.
My intention is not to argue but rather discuss ideas. If someone reads my words and decides to get drunk, it’s their decision and not my responsibility. Many people change their behavior when they learn they choose to ingest intoxicants, and that they don’t have to battle an imaginary “lifetime disease.” BTW, there are benefits to adopting the label “alcoholic”. It provides an excuse to get drunk sometimes (“relapse”) and greatly reduced expectations and responsibilities at work and home.
I thought I said that powerlessness is an observed “phenomenon”, I didn’t indicate how I though it happened or what caused it
Atheistically Yours88, I am quite sure that you are powerless over your anger and your anger isn’t an inanimate object. Ever think of joining Emotions Anonymous because you are “powerless” over your (inanimate) emotions.
Thanks for your input!
Food for thought. Before rehabs and 12 step recovery there was little known about Alcoholism and addiction. Little hope either. Two sufferers got together and developed a program from which much has sprung. Even Bill Wilson said “We realise we know only a little… more will be revealed.” AA never asserts it will work for everyone. “Powerlessness” like all other words is just a word. I spent years in religion before recovery looking for happiness and purpose. When addiction and depression came into my life a bunch of drunks and addicts were available and helpful to me. Through therapy, Psychiatry and recovery my 10 year bout with “major depression” came to an end in July 2003 and hasn’t returned. All the slogans, principles and fellowship turned it around for me. I do not involve myself with religion anymore, am gainfully employed and living a good quality of life. I am grateful for those two “drunks” who got together in 1935. It worked for me and still does…
Depression is usually not something we “have” but an activity we choose to engage in (like anger, boredom, and anxiety). This idea helped me see I was making a decision to engage in depressing myself. There are often benefits to engaging in depressing. It can help us avoid disturbing emotions, such as anger (for example, related to abuse). It sounds like you learned that you are not powerless over your drinking behaviors and depression. That’s wonderful. Anything that helps us understand the fact we are in full control of our actions is great.
Following Father Martin’s teachings, glad you found what works for you. Me, not so much!
Father Martin was a screaming example of how the nonsense of “spirituality” is a complete, and overwhelming FAILURE in assisting any “alcoholic” in recovering from their self-afflicted condition! I mean a CATHOLIC PRIEST being an alcoholic? Clearly he must have had the “wrong” spirituality to begin with, or he never would have become an alcoholic to begin with! And then he latches on to the AA’s version of “spirituality” (aka RELIGION!), and gets sober? And he still stayed a Catholic priest? God, what pathetic mental masturbation!
May you find inner peace . . .
Depression is usually not something we “have” but an activity we choose to engage in (like anger, boredom, and anxiety). This idea helped me see I was making a decision to engage in depressing myself. There are often benefits to engaging in depressing. It can help us avoid disturbing emotions, such as anger (for example, related to abuse). It sounds like you learned that you are not powerless over your drinking behaviors and depression. That’s wonderful. Anything that helps us understand the fact we are in full control of our actions is great.