The Last Word…

A few months ago, I caught a particularly nasty 12-step counselor on a message board telling a current client of the program I used to work at that he should beware that the place is really Narconon in disguise.  I was flabbergasted.  There is no truth to any such rumor.  I replied and set the record straight, but then the stepper redirected her venom at me, mischaracterizing my views.  I wrote a response to her slander, but of course the forum moderators locked the forum before I could respond to defend myself.  Well, I saved the response, and I just decided to publish it. Here’s a link to the original discussion thread: http://www.drugs.com/forum/need-talk/i-am-done-57686.html

And here’s my previously unpublished response, which includes quotes from ARTIST658, the counselor who I went up against in the forum:

Quote: ARTIST658

Clearly, we completely disagree on this subject, and I’m sure your points are valid to you, just as my points are valid to me. I doubt that any debate waged here will change either one of our minds.

Yes, we do disagree, and clearly, I am not here to debate the disease model – I do that on my own site, and I have entered no points about it here. Unfortunately, although you claim otherwise you have debated it with me already:

Quote: ARTIST658

Your site eagerly endorses the St. Jude Thaddeus’ program, and passionately denounces the AA/NA program, as well as the A.M.A.’s long-standing outlook about the DISEASE of addiction, as well as discrediting extensive scientific research on this topic.

And I might add that you’ve displayed a poor debating method as well – an appeal to authority. That’s a logical fallacy.

Quote: ARTIST658

Just as strongly as you feel about your philosophy, I feel about mine.

While you were “outraged” by my opinion to exercise caution, I find that difficult to swallow – having read through a bit of your site. What I read was a lot of passionate disdain for the 12-step programs that have brought many addicts into recovery – and yet you feel it is perfectly acceptable for you to denounce that program.

If the program you proclaim is above reproach, then why the “outrage” at my suggestion? Seriously.

First of all, I’m not outraged by recommendations to exercise caution. I’m outraged by your reckless furtherance of a lie.

It is acceptable for me to denounce 12-step programs – and it’s ok for you to personally think I am incorrect about that. And while I think you would be incorrect to denounce St Judes or any other comparable non-12-step method, it would still be acceptable for you to denounce them in the proper way. What I find unacceptable, is that you were interacting with someone who was currently in the St Judes program, and spreading a vicious lie about the program to them. While I will scream from my rooftop that conventional treatment methods don’t work I still would never scream into the window of a treatment center “get out of there, it’s a religious cult”. And I especially wouldn’t scream that into the window without knowing for sure that I was correct. This is an important distinction between myself and you – you who apparently felt it was ok to reach into a program to a person who was actively starting to believe they could change and starting down a new path of leaving addiction in the past – and sabotage that by proclaiming the program to be Narconon/Scientology without investigating for yourself whether this claim was true or false first.

Friends & acquaintances often ask me for advice in dealing with a substance use problem, and I honestly tell them my opinions, including what I think of conventional treatment programs, and I feel no guilt in passing along my informed opinion. But every so often, someone gets themselves into AA or a treatment program, and tells me about it after the fact, while still in the early stages of cessation – in this situation, I BITE MY TONGUE – so as not to interfere with the actions they are currently invested in, and I hope that all goes well for them. I offer words of encouragement, and I encourage them to build a better life with new goals. Then to myself, I hope that belief in their new path, and their own resolve to change pulls them through it, so that they might find success in spite of the self-defeating messages they’re being exposed to. I don’t mouth off about the cult-like or quasi-religious facets of 12-step programs to them, even though I would have at least some evidence to back that opinion up – I stay silent. When it doesn’t go well (which is often), and they subsequently ask for advice, then I proceed to give them the full rundown of what they should know. That’s just me though, I try to give them a chance to succeed without interrupting their newfound resolve to solve their problems.

Quote: ARTIST658

In fact, you advise your readers to IGNORE the advice of the treatment centers, if they are currently residing there. You tell them to just “go through the motions” of doing an AA/NA program while there, just so they can get out – and follow your advice. Whaaaat?  And you’re outraged by my post about St. Judes, merely suggesting caution and more research???

If you’re going to summarize my recommendations, please do so accurately. I don’t recommend that people go to treatment centers and play along – the part of my site that you are paraphrasing is a section specifically on detox – and not the broader more intensive treatment programs. I recommend that if they need detox, that they get it from a hospital detox unit, and if 12-step/Disease propaganda is hoisted upon them while they are receiving the legitimate & useful procedure of medical detoxification, that they ignore it and play along (and I stand behind that). There is a huge difference between a hospital detox and a longer term treatment program – In your position [as an addiction counselor], you should be well aware of the distinction, which is why I can only assume that you’ve intentionally distorted my words.

Quote: ARTIST658

Your website header proclaims, “Addiction is not a disease, it is a choice.” Well, I’m sure those words sound very enticing to a person who is struggling, as it sounds so reasonably manageable.

Those words were especially enticing to me after I had spent five disastrous years on the “recovery” path. I couldn’t take it anymore.

Quote: ARTIST658

Who wants to admit they have a “disease” that they need to manage for the rest of their lives – when, rather, you tell them it’s just a nasty habit they can kick? It ain’t easy for any of us to do. As addicts, many seek out the easiest way possible out of their predicament, and your way sure sounds a lot ‘easier’ than others. After all, they can do it all from a book in the comfort of their own home – as the St. Jude program suggests.

To be honest, given what I’ve read on your site, I am convinced that you are quite in the dark about the program of AA or NA. If you seriously believe AA or NA are all about “having a disease” and staying stuck in “victimhood” – and not about a process of changing the person within – then you completely missed the context of that program.

My first program was a famous retreat in NW CT that Bill Wilson founded himself. I was thouroughly indoctrinated with the disease concept and 12-steps. I was taught that I would have to struggle every day for the rest of my life one day at a time to stay sober, and that only a mystical higher power could give me a daily reprieve. I proceeded to go in and out of methadone programs, counselor’s offices, outpatients, detox’s, AA, NA, and CA meetings for five painful years. My parents begged me to go to another program and I refused, because in my words “they’re just gonna tell me the same things and I’m still going to want to get high”. And thank god (which I don’t believe in) they found someone who was willing to tell me something different, and provide me with real hope and a solution rather than just telling me to pray for a miracle. The idea that it was a choice, rather than a disease, that I didn’t have to struggle, and that I wouldn’t be an addict for the rest of my life was indeed very enticing to me – and it worked.

Quote: ARTIST658

As addicts, many seek out the easiest way possible out of their predicament, and your way sure sounds a lot ‘easier’ than others. After all, they can do it all from a book in the comfort of their own home – as the St. Jude program suggests.

Oh, also – some of us wildly overcomplicate “recovery” as a way to justify our own pitiful past. That’s okay, but when we turn that into a way of life that we prescribe to others as their genetically determined fate – we’re doing them a genuine disservice.

Quote: ARTIST658

Mr. Slate, I find your teachings extremely disconcerting, at best – and alarmingly dangerous, at worse. Before you strike out in contemptuous disdain at another for vocalizing their opinion of your program, make sure you aren’t already doing the same with theirs. Your website appears to be fully devoted to bashing the 12-step philosophies. In fact, today’s post, recommending: “South Park did a great episode on the dangers and absurdity of Alcoholics Anonymous and the recovery culture” (and actually providing a link to it!) is just further evidence to me of the absurdity of your position. This is a life or death issue, not an episode of “South Park.”

You have stated your opinion – including a reference to your website, which certainly elucidates the details – and I have stated the basic context of mine. I hope you don’t seek to carry on more of a debate here, in this forum, as I do believe it would be pointless. Besides, I have much better things to do with my time, as do you. I wish you well, and continued success in recovery.

God bless,
Ruth

Again – I haven’t reached into someone’s life and told them to abandon their method of dealing with their problem, as you did. Nor did I spread a vicious rumor. I do express criticism and disdain of the 12-steps and conventional treatment, but in a much more honorable way than you’ve gone about criticizing St Judes – and subsequently misrepresented my writings. I hope you’ll watch the South Park episode – satire is one of the best ways human beings have brought light to cultural problems throughout modern history – surely you know that.

My original intention was simply to set the record straight that St Judes has nothing to do with Narconon or Scientology and be done with it – but I’m not quite as polite as Mark, so I had to jump back in here and really take you on once you distorted my words. Now I’m done. Let’s make a deal. If you watch the South Park episode, I’ll watch Sandra Bullock’s movie 28 days, and then throw up.

-Steven Slate